I often get inspired by facebook posts and decided to write during my lunch break more often. This post caught my attention, “Ladies hear this if a man isn’t following God, he isn’t fit to lead.. If he doesn’t have a relationship with God, he wont know how to have a relationship with you.. If he doesn’t know God, he doesn’t know real love.” So true!
This means a man who shows this in his actions not just words. Therefore you must go slow have supports and discern. If you don’t see good fruit on the tree then you know no fruit, bad root, stay away. Do not think you strong enough to handle it. Even a strong person has weaknesses. If you compromise yourself and give into touch and affection or sexually before there is a testament to his character, you will not be as strong. It may sound old fashioned or outdated but no sex til marriage works! If you have or refuse this advice, know that there is no condemnation. I have fallen before and God forgave me, but I only want to save you unnecessary heartache. Please consider and don’t give yourself away. You are a treasure!
As a bold woman I had to learn the value when to be discreet and how to say no. Listen, some men will tell you anything to get what they want! Even put a ring on your finger! I could tell you some stories! You must see actions. My advice is spend as little time alone. Date in groups or groups setting. He should court you. Don’t skip the steps. Courtship is a beautiful part of a dance. I believe we date backwards. We should meet his family, friends, church before we ever go out alone. Protect yourself and your heart! Date through the seasons, if in doubt put on hold and pray. Don’t take advantage of his spending, but don’t feel bad if he pays. This demonstrates a man’s care for a woman. Believe me in time women give much maybe even more. Don’t let him get too comfortable “hanging out.” There is something powerful when a woman can withhold her affections. Its attractive to a man. Don’t let him pressure you or question you, in the end he will respect you and if not, good riddens! Be strong!
Don’t play with fire. Beware of the talkers and players. See the signs. Listen to others when they warn you esp his or your close family and friends. Don’t waste all your time analyzing or excusing his behaviors or words. The only way you can stay objective is to keep him at arms length. You must have boundaries and support in the dating process. You need to know yourself as well. For some kissing is too much, and don’t underestimate the power of touch. So many people go for the quick and easy, don’t be easy! I believe a kiss is not a trial run but a sign of moving further into commitment. Don’t let him kiss you if you don’t understand his commitment.
You should know what he values and what are his perspective and expectation in the relationship and on marriage. What is his relationship with his mother? If trying what work has he done to heal? What work have you done? Find a mentor who will help you in this process. POP is hear to listen. Read books by Christian authors, pray, but most of all wait. I’ve always said, I’d rather spend a lifetime waiting for the right person then spend a lifetime with the wrong person. Much of your happiness or misery depends on chosing the right mate. Chose wisely!
Finally, if your in a season or have had many years in singlehood, embrace it. This can be a time to fall in love with Jesus and be free to do things you could not as a married person. Please know, neither being single or married are better than the other. Its knowing your season to weed, water, and bloom and grow where you are! God will blossom you into something more beautiful with each surrender. For more dating advice and guidance see thepathofpurpose.com